The LA Cheaters' Playbook

Los Angeles. The Cheating Capital. Or so I’ve been told. As a graduate student living on campus at a Los Angeles area university in early 2016 I had three roommates. I recently found out that one of them tried to flirt with my boyfriend. Staring at him with a deep gaze she stroked her vagina, clothes intact, in front of my boyfriend for thirty seconds while he stood outside of her room helping her pick out clothes. I watched my boyfriend intently the entire time. I could not see my roommate/former friend as her room was located behind the bathroom wall and thus outside of my purview. I trusted her (as long as I was not too far off) because we were friends, she was mostly nice to me and she was a known member in national church circles. I also knew without a doubt that my man loved me. I was watching him the entire time. I trusted him.

My (still) boyfriend waited an entire year to tell me what she did. I was shocked! Why would he withhold this information from me? He, to my knowledge, did not talk to her after that event. I would bring my boyfriend over the house and he did not have long discussions with her. My boyfriend spent his time instead on lengthy conversations explaining to me that he did not trust my roommate and that she was highly suspicious. He said everything but tell me what happened. He repeatedly warned me that she was wayward but I would not listen. I continued to be friends with the said roommate until five months later (this summer).

It was in the summer that a light bulb went off in my head that my roommate might have ulterior motives. After asking me if I had sex with my boyfriend. After telling me that her friend slept with a world-famous DJ. After befriending the other roommate, an up-and-coming star in the Christian faith community who also attempted to flirt with my boyfriend (but this time in front of me). After the young lady called my doctoral program a master’s program when I told her several times previously that I was a doctoral student. I did not want to see my roommate for what she was- a fake.

It wasn’t until the summer when my roommate continued to defend our other roommate who played pranks on me everyday and who tried to flirt with my boyfriend (although I never spoke to the prankster roommate) did I have enough. The young lady wanted to use my new apartment as a storage room while she went on a trip out of the country.

I look back at this situation flabbergasted. Two young ladies in the Christian faith. Rising stars in the Christian world on a state and national level. I was fascinated with them when I learned who my roommates were. It was supposed to be an honor to live with people who are so well-known in their communities. I thought I could learn from them. Instead the experience was an embarrassment.

I am still in shock. I mourn the loss of a great friendship that never was. Next time I will listen when someone gives dme repeat warnings about someone else's character.