Religion and The Hippy Californian

    Moving from California to Florida after the funds dried up was not in the plan. I tried to avoid this day. Living in California was a dream, before meeting celebrities. It was a dream before I met my boyfriend. It was a dream because I could study in my room, close my door and not have my sleep-wake patterns interrupted. I also did not have to deal with century-old family psychological issues that always seemed to have a negative effect on me and those around me. When I am around or constantly talk to certain family members my entire countenance changes. The people in my life who do not demonstrate this family trend of rude arrogance start becoming offended by the way that I am treating them- a way in which my behavior could continue generational stains into other families.

    I tried to avoid coming home. I am a nice person when I am by myself or by other people I am not related to. It does not matter if those other people are college roommates or any other kind of roommate. It does not matter if the person/s are mean, very nice or somewhere inbetween. I am resolute. I know that staying with said persons is temporary. I either get great seasonal or lifelong friends as a result of the living experience. I am renewed each time I have a different set of non-familial roommates because I have learned a new coping skill, a skill that requires me to keep peace in the apartment through the use of friendship and/or a simple morning greeting. But living with family is different.

    I barely spoke to some of them while I was living in California because they always resented me leaving Florida or were seemingly jealous that I got as many opportunities to complete my education and see the world as I did. Sayings like ‘Meet us where we are at’ and ‘God did not tell you to go to California’ often littered my conscience after twice a month calls. It was too painful to speak to some family members more than that.

    I was enjoying my life. I had known my boyfriend for a few months. We were attending church together. I was in school studying all the time. I was learning about work/life balance. I was learning how to be a better best friend to my boyfriend. God was and still is working on my behalf. But then I was not able to get any more funding for school.

    I was mad at first that perhaps no one cared about my predicament. But now I know that God sent me back. I don’t know how long I will be back. I know that God knows the desires of my heart. I know that I pray and am hopeful.

    I work a job now that I did not expect to work in but has been a blessing nonetheless. I meet hundreds of new people everyday. I meet people who answer the questions about possible future life choices I have been considering. High public contact jobs allow for a person to meet people with varying life experiences. I’m thankful for that. I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learned through this job that teach me to deal with difficulties in my family and on the job. This is my life for now. I am being renewed and strengthened at a rapid pace.

    But I also miss the West Coast very much. I hope to someday get the opportunity to go back. I am now back in Florida. I find overall that there is an overemphasis on racial stereotypes here. I’ve seen racial stereotypes mimicked from all kinds of hues and shapes alike. There is a growing biracial, triracial and quadracial presence happening with couples, families and the children produced. However, there’s still racist talk among a lot of older members of the family who still want to hold on to the past.

    Living in California has influenced my entire thought process. There is racism everywhere. However, I found less racist talk there. The conversation among Californians and visitors to California was more about who is smart enough and has enough reinvention and research skills to move the state and nation forward.

    There was also seemingly a place where everyone could fit in. There were always meetup groups advertised online where interest groups for random interest could discuss where to meet in frequented areas in town. There were thousands of churches of different faiths. There were Trump-Republicans with Trump bumper stickers and American flags on their cars. There were anti-Trump billboards. There were alot of Texas license plates. There was a large Armenian community. You could be yourself in California and feel like you fit in somewhere very easily.

    It’s taken me about six months to find my place in Florida. I visited a church this week that I really liked. And one of my good friends is coming to Jacksonville for a bit.

    However, a lot of people speak on things I care nothing about. Frequent speeches on racial stereotypes and opinions about my education. I was content in California and in Arkansas (for graduate school the first time) praying and allowing God to show me what He wants for my life. Now I feel as if I have to show some family members that I care about their affairs although most of what they talk about is foolish. There is a saying that sometimes real family is not related to you. Perhaps so.