Kendall Holmes

Stating California Separately: Owning a Virtue: The Editorial Paper Route

Taken from The Darkening Ages: The Christian Destruction of the Classical World written by Catherine Nixey, the quote places a thought from Symmachus, a pagan author, “We see the same stars, the sky is shared by all, the same world surrounds us. What does it matter what wisdom a person uses to seek for the truth?” An establishment to be addressed and known by locality. Stemming foliage, advocating what can be foiled; my perception and thereof. Confession for success is simply not enough. Miscellaneously, stating family lived in North Carolina in a fifth-grade research portfolio was an absence of comfort. An elementary and personal response said as, “My biggest fear was not being successful.” An early verbal expression for peers to be self-indulged with laughter preceding exploitation. The classroom would be a collective of fifth and sixth grade students in a combination class. 2006 was the following year. Fears of not being successful would become the present quicker than expected. Athletics, academia, yet derogatory thoughts of life were to be superior. A dispute would occur briefly yet escalate into an elementary drawing. Specially, a doodling of a block pistol, and a thought bubble comprehensively noting, “I’ll kill you.” Retrospectively, a reaction in defense of a bad day with an unknown substitute teach from recollection. The beginning of a racial profile, and a shot to be someone. A story of an unwanted shot gun marriage to my childhood environment; the Thought Police from George Orwell’s 1984 entirely... A class of its own – memories, explanations, and explanatory variables available coherently upon the passage of elementary statistics. In short, graduating with an associate's degree, and admission once again into a university to form lasting scholar friendships.

No Line No Boundaries, simple words to the titling of a 7th grade yearbook would subliminally construct my course in academia, athletics and daily encounters; lost as I had already become susceptible to this borderline location, and its lack of appeal for my personal happiness, self-esteem would suffer. The undesirably complexed task of time management would develop a need; an editorial paper route. Unnecessarily in no excess of 10 to 11 weeks in duration, a transfer to another intermediary school and an uncommon hood winked playing field. This was to be Oak Middle School, and in correlation to its yearbook, I would have no picture amongst the graduating class of 2008.

62nd and Vermont Avenue addressing Los Angeles, California, holds the initial starting point for what would derail, and become a primarily single- mother household, financially and spiritually focused on pursuits of football accomplishments, a community voice, and financial stability. Hunger and donation would plague and aid my life socially. Sporadically this hunger and irregular donation would become influx experience. More importantly distance would form prioritization discrepancies from Griffith Park, my father place of employment, and Zoe Christian Fellowship of Los Angeles: a church, my grandfather place of work and study. This would mush together patronizing impressions. Consequential in expression, a formation of daily arrogance, or a dependence ushered by the optimism needed for daily impression. Separately, my understanding of how to deal with divorce. In continuing, optimism will be expressed by year for understanding my statistically affectionate community and self-doubt grievances. Mornings became interrupted, yet sustainable. Thus, daily perception became deception. Lakewood would become Los Alamitos. Sequentially, still managing with an understanding. Divorce is a difficult adjustment to accept in adolescence into teenage years, and so on. Stating California Separately: Owning a Virtue: The Editorial Paper Route is my own personal statement and defiled grievance. It has to do with a lack of common sense, and cultural confusion. Fractionally, it isolates for reciprocation and accumulated prevalence.

Comprised will confound family roots separating individual pursuit. With happiness walking away in 2008, counseling for freshman academia was to be issued by literal indulgence. Discretely, the student body populous would act as my self-doubt grievance for the happiness that was still finding a way in the direction of elsewhere. Barely able to adjust, the demand for optimism would prevail. Lakewood, Cerritos, the north side of Long Beach, Los Alamitos, and Arcata henceforth proxemics spreading throughout California. Locations wherein the freest will, and my years as a teen and athletic careerism; categorized, multiplied for combination, and then rationalized broadly by my statistically affectionate self- doubt grievances thence each community.

Regarding my affection statistically, I began my football career as a mandatory minimum of 8 plays of participation youth pop warner player in unison with the Cerritos Steelers. In 2002, I would have minimal contributions in each lose or victory with this team. 2002 to 2016, wherein summarizing time is tedious; accumulate dispute, and mental trauma. My conscious state has been subdued, and victimized. Subjectively an athlete is a subject of mind over matter; yet often to optimistically clarify rehabilitation with mental notes impelling an avoidance to prevent further injury.

I would find developmental leadership skills throughout these years. In 2007, I would participate in the Disney sponsored Pop warner Superbowl; once again in unison, yet in unison with the North Long Beach Panthers Pop Warner organization. Contradicting humidity and dry air can explain Orlando, Florida in December. Instruments were public school obligations; otherwise, athletic pursuance built the labelling proxemic community.

Unfortunate in insertion, proxemic comradery, and the non-negotiable household. Complication was of whether to be intuitive or observant therein the non-negotiable. Yet, my football career had glimpses of collegiate congratulatory regards of Scout Player of the Year award in 2012, its confusion, and a life changing injury in the most unhappy condition that a knee can be stricken by. The infamous “3,2,1” countdown for visual description, yet three ligaments should not exemplify a countdown during an intermural flag football game; and so on, pop pop pop, boom! A pliable collapse of my knee. A statistical rapport was the conclusion to my NCAA athletics career as a Humboldt State University Lumberjack. I did score twice in the spring game, but I have was high on marijuana. First time since pop warner that I scored twice anywhere.

Specifically, I was injured in a light truth. Motivation was the common pursuit to escaping this misadventure truth. A red heron fallacy to fly away separately, and only to fly away alongside injury and my physiologically depreciated human value. Non- negotiable in reason, sufferance, and expression; falsely to be validated by hood winks and fallacy. I have been an average student. An influx of B and C averages. I will ask you this, “ What is better than directing the blame at humanism with absence of concluding consequence?” Optimism! It’s the art of being human. For example, an eighteen-wheel, semi-truck, or big rig collision for my own experience occurring on the 91-freeway parallel to the LA Crystal Casino in Compton, California. The windshield to my 2001 Honda Accord exploded on impact. The car slid the length of the eighteen-wheel, semi-truck while staying in the lane. All this on January 6, 2016 that would change my attitude. Especially, after drinking the blood from the cuts created my shards of embedded glass in my face. My proxemic luck placed me in an ambulance in the convenient direction, yet locally distant to the nearest Kaiser Permanente. As a momentous relief insertion, the emergency medical technician asked, “On a scale of 1 to 10 what is the pain level?” I smirked, smiled and said, “4.” The comedic relief was in his facial expression. This crash broke my nail-biting habit oddly. Anyways, he seemed uneasy with the way I responded. As if I thought the accident was funny or comedy oriented. A lucky drawn card in a misfortune sleight of hand jack! So, optimism! I walked away from the table with minor cuts to my face. Thereupon I decided to go to track and field practice in the following days. Continually being optimistic in approach with a will to achieve.

Based on category, I am subjectively a millennial. My millennial experiences circumvent the state of California generically. Optimism can correlate to Eureka, California; Given, Eureka! I found it. There’s still a chance of being a college graduate. Depression and personal lost are my relative misfortune; derogatory in meaning in lengths by year. Deferrals of my optimism and depression are diverted in each proxemic community. Statistical affection dismally accumulates in this victimized rapport for success. Locality has been influential in my sense of self as whether is defined. Weathering the storm of both exhilarating accomplishments and degrading downfalls of depression. Whether sites my progression as a former aspiring athlete and student aspirations of a degree. Low- income determinants, a domestically disruptive household, and non-negotiables are the obvious axiom. Pious in approach, I found it difficult to be intuitive and observant. Contentiously falling susceptible to the deception within my own change, optimistically. Time limits for what an African American cannot often be devoid as freedom from obligation becomes the vice versa. What I call my home can impede vision from an instance. Observant of what others had while in my silent demeanor; low-income attributed low gratitude; intuitive to each community embodied. I have been in several situations leading into mid-twenties, yet sincerity has been a must in each pursuance.

Whether to be observant or intuitive daily, as my mother utilized the public transportation system each day to work would plague my mental well-being in high school. Purpose is to be creating an understanding of what is possible in detail. Growing over the years from observance has allowed me to see that I do have a chance to attend a four-year college.

The early morning drop offs to the high school campus an hour before first period even began; the time management issue once denoted. I will say that I, as one of the first to arrive on campus and being a part of the extra- curriculars or athletes to leave hours after 6th period ended was superfluously demanding. Reserved, naïve, but determined; my silence would be broken. For a collective of reasons, I would become a name known proximally in athletics. My demeanor would progress from my own mere skepticism into suspicion oddly.

Foundationally, the four-year span from 2008 to 2012 was high school. A balancing act of homework, strenuous athletic priorities, and painful relationship reflections thereabout new engagements. Domestication however compacts domestic disturbance, and the rare occurrence of violence to address of my home. Compacted as divorce, high school was not an overjoyed experience. Bizarrely, I would be recognized by The National Society of High School Scholars although I could not pay for the membership fee.

A possible Case-control study, yet ignorant to the passing grade needed in elementary statistics in all three-semester enrolled. Sufferance as a knave. Ironically, written by a 3rd grade 8 play of participation mandatory pop warner athlete to begin. Words, actions, and optimism from what my own understanding can summarize. Plenty of available banter wherein summary. For example, do not get stuck with a leg that can play the Jimmy…knee crickets. Apropos, the cricket from Bug’s Life using his leg to play the violin. Relevant, a scheduled knee reconstruction surgery, and the tone of sorrow.

An undated incident as denial set in; athletic training was useless mentally. This place in the 2013 calendar year was where I completely accepted the repercussion of quitting my NCCA football walk-on position as a Lumberjack and Humboldt State University enrollment status. Crutching to class would be mandatory for no more than 10 days in total. I finished the semester optimistically with hopes of continuing my athletics pursuance. My mother nor father were able to assist with my journey back to my Lakewood residence as depression placed inhibitors from insulting injury.

Labelling and accountably of the multifaceted non-negotiable pain were to continuously find storage. I became even more labelled. I also became even more of a basket case. Publicly suspectable to insidious proceeding punishable at any given moment. In dissonance, a playing card available to isolate any scrounged-up arrogance and confidence. An inverse to the acceptance of the non-negotiable succession in my life as a maturing young adult. A way to suppress evocation; being only, yet nineteen years sequentially approaching twenty years of age. Solidarity became primary as socialization became a task. Sixty seconds of success as non-negotiable minutes manifested into years of psychological trauma.

Scores of failures were a dismal pocketbook check. Personal goals would subconsciously change. Class enrollment converted a different field of study. My major non-suitable misadventure would replace the preconceived dismals of happiness scheduled to walk away as before. A private lifestyle had and did psychologically require 5150 attentions. In other words. I would volunteered to go to jail. Binding stress that would pre-mediate suicidal confession. A place where all things were abused, torched, and burned in spite. Medical attention surpassed the already sought medicine, and athletic recovery. Forcibly, tolerance became allowance in obvious discomfort to become decisive. I was placed in housing for the disenfranchised with the housing location being in East Los Angeles. The Office of Diversion and Reentry which supplements Los Angeles Twin Towers Correctional Facility. Yet again, placed me in interim housing for a Criminal Protective Order in which the plaintiff lied when describing my action and whereabouts. I have complete the Felony Incompetent to Stand Trial program as well as the Misdeamenor Incompetent to Stand Trial program. After which a referral to be housed in Long Beach was submitted.

An excessive stench of failure would continue in daily hobbies and priorities. Despite disruption, my understanding of my life remained. No line No boundaries at this point has become more than just a title to a yearbook as careerism is setting in. Life seemed as predetermined as a child to curiously purchase the bubble gum wrapped in cigarette paper from the ice cream truck only to casually pick up the identical tobacco product off the ground with the same curiosity.

Confined to life experiences, acceptance fell, failed, and became my personal rapport. My grade point average stands as the implied completion. Undergraduate academia collectively consists of one four-year university, and three community colleges; Perseverance has been valued most. Keeping a positive awareness of an adjustment for schizophrenia has been obsolete. Covert in reference, Humboldt State University hold an existential to my conscious- self. My first understanding of being a young adult with obligation mandatory to achievement; thus, keeping my achieved validation to participate in athletics.

Present, unfortunate convictions altering my health, an attempt of dropping obligations, and an effort to preserve the sense of self needed for attaining an associate's degree. Time spent away from my residence was valued for the underlining self-preservation. Fear well utilized to develop a mature acceptance from my continual value in self-controlled accountability.

From 2013 to the present year, achievement defines a Dean’s List achievement at Cypress College in 2013 leading into the year 2015; the expression of my daily passion once again on the football field at Santa Monica College. The recovery was strenuous, but mind over matter although yet again subjectively defeated by the repetitive score of bodily failure; another injury.

The last of my defeats as a student athlete would occur on January 6th, 2016, my life, major of choice (Business Administration with an emphasis in finance), and the once self-preserved dream as an athlete would be derailed indefinitely. An impeded semi-truck in the shoulder lane won my battle toward being a scholar-athlete for another NCAA program.

Arbitrarily, my achieved self-losing the sustained state of self; a mind which has endured. In addition, been commendable and complementarily tolerant to supplementary decision. Substantially, accepting obligation to achieve congratulatory phases at gradually achieved academic levels. A yielded mind in thereby construction as God is constructing my daily paths. A permissively conformed social sense for accomplishment; the statistical affection therein social norms. Pellucid, the highly sought after what if story, equation, outcome, reflection, and overall impression. College presents valued accomplishments for creative socials to evoke social advancement. As intermission prior to conclusion, I will insert some thought from the hiatus of incarceration called The Quelling Force:

To act alone from practice would ebb the value of a scholar without an institution. Nevertheless, I am writing this as I am now in rue of academia and credit debt as an inmate at the Twin Tower Correctional Facility. An act of transitory grievance abhorring my financial decadence. This hiatus as an inmate upon egress is time served for vandalism of public property, and assault with a deadly weapon; more specially, with alcohol bottles of trajectory upon a bus window. A premeditated notion to get blood originated by past spiritual guidance. Achieved through the window of a bus yet made agnostic in reflection. Transposing the fluidity as a law-abiding citizen. A shallow has formed for serenity; forcing me to calm, relax, and breathe with patience ceasing the rivulets of sweat from work related security guard stress. With so many years of ambivalence and hardship quelling successive years. I have obtruded my story with two felonies to be dropped entirely from my criminal record as I have been dealt two misdemeanors prior to the cases being dropped entirely. Such a fervent disruption and storm in conveyance; yet I found commissary. This Quelling Force was about what I, myself, had to do to get regular meals, and a contemporaneous graduation. My hiatus as a non-conviction criminal was of a much-needed ford. I am still awaiting the ebullience of my release at this point. Quoted in Walden and Civil Disobedience, “Our whole life is startlingly moral. There is never an instant’s truce between virtue and vice. Goodness is the only investment that never fails. (172)” Henceforth, complacency was my concerning faux pas in re of diligence. The Quelling Force is not of a bigot. This Quelling Force is one of needed auspices and financial aid. Prior to incarceration, I had become somewhat of a devoid drunk which created a 7-Eleven enigma from formidable vehement. Naturally, I accepted it all and continued writing in this quelling force. In reference to Day by Day written by Charles Swindoll, “Our problem is not needing to know the truth about tomorrow; it’s needing to live the truth we know today. (24)” A decision was made to disparage my progression and seek metaphorical restitution and mental health guidance. This would later occur after 3 months of incarceration at Serenity Recuperative Care located in East Los Angeles. A location that would cleanse my efforts and body. Overall, I am forced to epitomize football, employment, and fatigue as an anticlimax which attributes the sleight of hand criminal charges. Furthermore, as a proclaiming herald, I will expect a smile and positive feedback. As contemporary, beyond the cliché title and comments, I am looking for a new home, and institutional lifestyle. To place summary and quotation from Stephen B. Oates’ With Malice Towards None, Abraham Lincoln took the words of what a Kentuckian once told him, “It's been my experience that folks who have no vices have generally very few virtues.(103)” Thence, it is suitable for me to now quote Lincoln himself placing, “I find as much material for a lecture in those points wherein I have failed, as in those where I have been moderately successful. (105)” In there, the event of nearsightedness, yet not far out of sight from this quelling force, and your illustrious institution.

Compelling a known atheist with faith, the words of Thomas Hobbes have been reshaped into an understanding of my own. From divergence, stating that a lack of faithfulness alters imagination and memory. Turning it into experience as opposed to sheer reflection. He asserts that laying cold divers the dreams of fear. Heat is the reactionary state as the brain develops catalyst in body parts creating the imagination of an enemy. This is exclusive of faith yet places the sense of faith in bodily reactions and infirmities. Briefly claiming in a chapter of Leviathan that sovereign populace evokes infirmities as the bodily reaction of the Leviathan which is a portrayal of its decaying senses for imagination, fancy, and memory. My assertion of faith is denoted as a reflection, given, experience will no longer be a causal of what faith I have faith, but reflections of a quelling force composing day to day encounters into my reality.

In my single parent household, a field goal, and safety were converted as well as light. Leverage is in the gray storm of printed provisional dollar bill denominations. Briefly, sleeping has occurred on the optional couch, floor, or sought-after sleeping arrangements. Optimism is my virtue. Reciprocal to times that feel derived from the half-hearted, half-wit, and numb. Piously induced, a hoodwink determinant that has deviated my pursuits into translucent self-exhortations. A translucence debased by a proximal influence that has been vindictive to translate my own faults, yet optimism is myself for personal success.

Euphorically placing the ellipses to an open-ended journey; it has been some time. Empathy, frustration, and tears can sum up the years as independently as they elapse. Deliberate self- improvement and a glance at the quelling force- commonly called jail have procured the maturity in my personality. I am looking forward to... an incapacitated, broke, and tarnished digest. Yet, diverted impotence from ulterior motives into potential competence. Goal oriented focused on integrity and accountability. Origins of job titles uprooted financial discrepancy. With a culmination of security and porter job tasks. Rationally randomized coordinates and approaches accounting for years of employment history under the Department of Consumer Affairs as a licensed security guard.

I have managed to accumulate credit history utilizing Discover Bank. To a certificate of deposit in 2018. In addition, a commendable and registered vote for a delegate seated in Illinois contending the still and current governor of California. Some years later, marking the 8th of May all in the same; yet, to notify the year 2020. Another year of full- time work. Into a nomination. Employee of the month set in the month of September acknowledging my work ethic. The worksite being “Black Jack” Pershing Square locate between Hill Street and Olive Street intersected by 5th street and 6th street in Downtown Los Angeles. This being during the pandemic and worldwide quarantining.

In terms of liberties and contingencies. A person as such. A carrier of burdens as its Latin and French origins differs. To deliberate porter/janitorial services as an employee with Western Nation Group. The task in a luxury apartment living setting. Defining years of work experience where the freedom of anxiety was to mitigate the burden.

Interlocked in a petition to graduate placing December 2021. I, then, became a Cerritos College graduate with a Certificate of Achievement in Social and Behavioral Sciences. Making me a Two-year college graduate with an Associate’s degree. Passing under the wings of truth as a Cerritos College Falcon. Validated by a 3.0 grade point average, and an assured membership with HonorSociety.org.

As to differentiate and innovate good character with versatility. The beginning of hard-earned lessons. To seldom use a conducive first person to express. Unless needed in recognizance and refinement of first, second, and third person narratives. I place my interest in personal collaborations that share sustainable success and leadership.

While pursuing a bachelor's in arts degree in political science with an emphasis in an accounting minor from the California State University college network. My applications and submissions are for the Fall 2026 semester. The main focal points for this discipline are for beneficial excellence, and postsecondary progress. Genuine to an earned and learned competence for the position.