To the Child Whose Father Walked Away

In sixth grade, my parents got a divorce.  I have always been super close to my mother, so it was no surprise when my mom got custody of me and my dad moved out.  Even when we were a family, my father never had anything to do with me.  When my parents divorced, this was still the case, which was not surprising, but it still hurt.  I know many other people out there deal with this same situation, and they feel like it is their fault.  I know this because I thought it was my fault that he had nothing to do with me.  I decided to try my hand at another open letter, but to the child whose father left them.

To the child whose father left them,

I know your struggle.  I know you always question why your father chose to left you.  I’ve gone through all of the questions of “why did it have to be MY father that left” and “why was I not good enough to make him stay?”  “Why was I not enough for him to stay in my life?”  “Why couldn’t I have the normal, perfect stereotypical family that others have?”  You may also think that if you can’t trust the one man in your life that was supposed to stick around, how can you trust any man?    

I want you to know that it was not your fault and you ARE good enough because you still have a mother or someone else in your life that wants to be there for you.  It is your father’s own stupid fault for not wanting to stay in your life.  He obviously doesn’t know a good thing when he has it, and you don’t need people like that in your life.  Surround yourself with other people who love you and want you around in your life, and don’t go chasing after someone who doesn’t want you in their life.  Don’t let that man in your life just to bask in the good works that you have done and let him then claim you as his daughter.  Maybe in the future he will want to have a relationship, but that’s not a guarantee, so don’t go chasing after something that might not happen.

One day, there will be someone else to fill the void.  It might be a significant other, a step-father, or even your own mother.  It might even be a combination of both.  Your mother might work extra hard to fill the gap that your deadbeat father left open.  She might also find someone else who will fill that gap and take you in and give you the family and father you never had.  You might even love him more than your own father.  It might even make you forget about your loser of a father.  Keep the faith; it will get better.  This is coming from someone who has a wonderful father figure in her life that will always love her.   

                                                            Sincerely,

                                                            A child whose father also left them

Please do not take this as a pity party by any means.  I had no intentions of this; I simply want to show others what it feels like to not have a father.  While this article is more geared toward the child who lost a father, it can also work for mothers; I just don’t know how this feels from personal experience.  Let me know what you thought of this article, and if you want to, share your own experience.  Thanks for reading.