The Ex-Boyfriend Too Comfortable

Jun 21,2017

My ex-boyfriend and I dated for two years. We met after church service on a Southern California Sunday afternoon in November 2015. I had just taken my roommate to the airport before deciding to go to church for the first time in months. After all, the church building was a short drive from the airport and I did not have the excuse of having a busy homework morning as the semester was winding down.

As I walked away from the multicolored, multipaned cathedral a 20-something burnt pecan extremely fashionable young man approached my purview. (It almost pains me to write this article).

“Excuse me”, he said. “Yes, how can I help you”? Somehow the conversation ended on why he had trouble thinking of the right words to say. My ex told me how the teachers at his Los Angeles Unified School District placed him in remedial classes because of slow-learning and behavioral issues. Children apparently made fun of my ex because he was a slow-learner. But when I see him I see a fully capable human being. He’s not a slow learner. My ex needed after-school tutors, his parents and perhaps religious help to train his mind to understand academics and the power of discipline.

I had a similar slow-learning diagnosis in the second grade. My mom sat down with me and helped me with my homework. She picked me up from after-school math tutoring. Mother enrolled me in Sunday school classes at the local church. I would not have a master’s degree if my parents and the people of Martin Luther King Elementary and First Baptist Church of Jacksonville, Florida did not take over the ‘Ashley Reformation Project’. It really does take a village to instill values in a child and help them understand the consequences of their actions.

My ex boyfriend’s conversation took about twenty minutes. He seemed like a really nice guy that society left behind-his parents, his teachers and his siblings. I wanted to go home so we walked to the garage. He told me about all of the things he’s good at-personal and professional. My ex then gave me his phone number. I was hesitant at first. My ex has a high school diploma and is not a great public speaker. However, I finally was hit on by someone who was humble, a sharp dresser and did not have a ghetto persona. I should have added an educated criteria. A certificate, bachelor’s or master’s degree or higher would have sufficed. Earning a title that is not easy to come by demonstrates that a person has goals and that they are willing to sit through and work to find solutions to the difficult times in life. I don’t need somebody that will not be a leader for my family in difficult times. Which is where the problem lied.

My ex-boyfriend does not have a college diploma, steady job or certification in anything. He does not read well. His numerous attempts to complete remedial courses at the local community college failed. He had one great temporary job but lost motivation to find a steady job after that. The list goes on and on. It does not matter if a person can check almost every single box. They may be your best friend like me and my ex were. However, a person who does not have the mental stability or skills to search and keep a job cannot provide for you in case something medical happens to you and there is a decrease of income. Things happen in the course of a marriage. However, no one should sign up for a marriage with so many warning signs. Give God a chance. When God knows that you’ve done the best you’ve can in serving the church and maintaining career and family but things still go bad God will show the both of you how to rise out of the situation. I don’t want God to give up on me because I followed a husband who did not follow God’s plan.

And that is why his number is blocked from my phone.  

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The Ex-Boyfriend Too Comfortable

 The Ex-Boyfriend Too Comfortable

The Ex-Boyfriend Too Comfortable

The Ex-Boyfriend Too Comfortable

My ex-boyfriend and I dated for two years. We met after church service on a Southern California Sunday afternoon in November 2015. I had just taken my roommate to the airport before deciding to go to church for the first time in months. After all, the church building was a short drive from the airport and I did not have the excuse of having a busy homework morning as the semester was winding down.

As I walked away from the multicolored, multipaned cathedral a 20-something burnt pecan extremely fashionable young man approached my purview. (It almost pains me to write this article).

“Excuse me”, he said. “Yes, how can I help you”? Somehow the conversation ended on why he had trouble thinking of the right words to say. My ex told me how the teachers at his Los Angeles Unified School District placed him in remedial classes because of slow-learning and behavioral issues. Children apparently made fun of my ex because he was a slow-learner. But when I see him I see a fully capable human being. He’s not a slow learner. My ex needed after-school tutors, his parents and perhaps religious help to train his mind to understand academics and the power of discipline.

I had a similar slow-learning diagnosis in the second grade. My mom sat down with me and helped me with my homework. She picked me up from after-school math tutoring. Mother enrolled me in Sunday school classes at the local church. I would not have a master’s degree if my parents and the people of Martin Luther King Elementary and First Baptist Church of Jacksonville, Florida did not take over the ‘Ashley Reformation Project’. It really does take a village to instill values in a child and help them understand the consequences of their actions.

My ex boyfriend’s conversation took about twenty minutes. He seemed like a really nice guy that society left behind-his parents, his teachers and his siblings. I wanted to go home so we walked to the garage. He told me about all of the things he’s good at-personal and professional. My ex then gave me his phone number. I was hesitant at first. My ex has a high school diploma and is not a great public speaker. However, I finally was hit on by someone who was humble, a sharp dresser and did not have a ghetto persona. I should have added an educated criteria. A certificate, bachelor’s or master’s degree or higher would have sufficed. Earning a title that is not easy to come by demonstrates that a person has goals and that they are willing to sit through and work to find solutions to the difficult times in life. I don’t need somebody that will not be a leader for my family in difficult times. Which is where the problem lied.

My ex-boyfriend does not have a college diploma, steady job or certification in anything. He does not read well. His numerous attempts to complete remedial courses at the local community college failed. He had one great temporary job but lost motivation to find a steady job after that. The list goes on and on. It does not matter if a person can check almost every single box. They may be your best friend like me and my ex were. However, a person who does not have the mental stability or skills to search and keep a job cannot provide for you in case something medical happens to you and there is a decrease of income. Things happen in the course of a marriage. However, no one should sign up for a marriage with so many warning signs. Give God a chance. When God knows that you’ve done the best you’ve can in serving the church and maintaining career and family but things still go bad God will show the both of you how to rise out of the situation. I don’t want God to give up on me because I followed a husband who did not follow God’s plan.

And that is why his number is blocked from my phone.