The Girl That No One Knew
Do you wonder if your family members and those that God has assigned to be in your presence (or a person you know) most often know of the gem that you are? Are they simply ignoring your good fortune and not encouraging you to reach for the stars because they cannot see beyond what they know?
Many people of stature tell me that they have problems with family members who are not encouraging of their goals. As the economy is still feeling the effects from 2008’s financial crisis in which the stock markets crashed and had record lows while thousands of job positions were being eliminated it is no wonder that the people around you cannot see past their own drama.
Like me you may wonder why a simple ‘great job’ is not said from your family members or the family members of another young person you know. The answer may be that no one showed the family members how to be celebratory of others’ accomplishments. The answer may be that no one has taught them how to turn jealousy into celebration. The answer may be that…. It doesn’t matter what they think! Pray for them! Don’t even spend time arguing with your parents if they do not agree with the reasonable vision you have laid out for yourself. Stick to your passion. Some people are more concerned with keeping you safe and helping themselves than ever helping you understand how to fulfill your destiny.
Below I’ve included strategies that will help you maintain your independence and start you on the road to living a self-fulfilled life. The solutions are solutions to challenges alot of young people I know are facing on the road to becoming independent.
Saving money. You cannot let your relatives know how much money you earn from your job. Whether you live with them or not you cannot allow them to feel that they can always come to you for money when they don’t have enough money because ‘you always have the money’. The only money they should know about is the money that you did not put in your savings account for the month.
Be careful with letting any relative you are not married to know how much money you have. You will never save enough money to move into your own place if you are always paying entire cable, lighting and/or water bills. Being too focused on the here and now doesn’t allow you to move on with the natural maturation of life.
Protecting your independence financially becomes very important when you start talking about marriage. Family members who focus on the here and now by focusing on you filling a hole in their income that they had twenty to forty years to fill themselves is not your responsibility. Only the weak in heart take money from people who are just starting off in life and don’t yet have the income to give away. Save your money and move on. Do you wish to be as broke as some of your 40s plus family members when you are their age? Especially when you know that they could have done more to prevent decades long poverty. Allow them to continuously dip their nose in your pocketbook and you will have the ‘no money live for today only’ spirit over you. You have to save. Even if you don’t make much money. Twenty dollars or forty dollars per month. Something. Set a goal and don’t compromise it. No matter what.
Stay away from foolish behavior. You are better than answering to insults and vicious attacks. Don’t respond. This goes along with keeping your money independent. Protect your mind for it affects your future spouse and the family you create for yourself.
Live. Do what you can to only focus on the good times with your family and loved ones. You know that they are negative people. Don’t start any riffs. Call them. Talk about general everyday things. Pray that one day things change to where you can get into deep conversation with them. For right now you are just trying to honor your family while using common sense with your money and time.
This is your life. Don’t waste it!