How We Communicate
Pray that God sends you an alternate family unit or repairs your family unit if all the attempts at reconciliation fail.
I was at a crossroads in my personal relationships at one point in my life. Some of my family members and my boyfriend felt as if I was not allowing them to give me advice and other forms of wisdom. I would ignore them as they spoke or interject my opinion without letting them finish speaking. I had to learn to let them speak even if I disagreed with the opinions given. I had to learn to let them help me when I was sick or needed help on something that I would not admit to them. I had to learn to give and receive love. The foundational relationships of our personal lives are the training ground for how we handle the people and situations in our personal and professional lives that are not in favor of us.
Without communication we allow others to control the narrative. However, when we voice our truth others may still invent lies. Eventually, however, the truth is found out. Whoever believes the lie is eventually put to shame. The foolish follow the foolish. God has the final say. Always remember that. Here are a few areas of our lives in which communication is of the utmost importance.
Dating and Spousal Relationships. I had an issue with my boyfriend recently in which I would interrupt him while he was talking. I then indirectly explained to my boyfriend through sarcastic remarks that I thought his movie and video game obsessions were lame. My boyfriend, of course, would ensue with epithets of anger every time I interrupted him. I knew in my heart that in that moment I only cared about what I wanted to say after my boyfriend was finished speaking. I had to address the cause of the anger within myself that triggered me to behave in this manner. I needed to pay attention to my boyfriend’s conversation about his hobbies- especially since I wanted him to care about my hobbies. I had to pretend to care until I actually cared about his favorite topics. I had to pray that God changed my heart. Because I do love the man.
My thoughts on the matter were somewhat reinforced when I watched the TD Jakes Show. I learned from watching Bishop T.D. Jakes speak on his show that insulting your spouse’s hobbies could make the spouse feel as if you are attacking him/her personally.
Our biggest problem was communication. My boyfriend and I work on our emotions and attitudes everyday- realizing that an emotionally unstable relationship is an unhealthy one.
Familial relationships. Communication. Family. Communication. Aagghh. The topic that keeps on giving. We all have a family unit. Our families look different in structure. However, we all have a similar task in deciding on how we fit into our roles within the family. Is there a role? How will we choose the role? Will someone choose the role for us?
The definition of a healthy family is decided upon by individual family members. Some families are very spiritual. Some families are obsessed with celebrity culture and spirituality at the same time. The failure to properly communicate and accept the family dynamic is the number one thing that can tear any family apart. And remember that the family dynamic is not meant to be contingent on excluding those persons who do not fit the general dynamic.
The differing values among family members can clash. Some family members agree to work out their differences. Other family members agree to disagree on values and actions that affect the financial, spiritual and social well-being of a family all to their detriment.
A family who refuses to work out their differences misses out on the blessing that comes from fellowshipping with other family members. Family members are typically the only people you can rely on for emotional and sometimes financial support when the world opposes you. Therefore a family that is not willing to work out their differences can appear defenseless and weak to the community that surrounds them. They are always by themselves. They are always paying so much attention to what divides the family unit that a deeper evil action could easily escape their eye. Families are stronger while constituting individual personalities who are united. A family that has a genuine love and respect for each other will stay together when times get rough.
I often hear of stories of families changing their behavior after a loved one dies or divorces. Discussions of money and favoritism tear apart families. These are the families that had issues that were not dealt with before the significant event happened. Tolerating each other is unacceptable! Trying everything you can to hold the family together is acceptable. Pray that God sends you an alternate family if all the tactics do not work. Sometimes family is the family you create through marriage and friendships. There’s billions of people on this Earth!
Work relationships. Do your work. Work hard. Do something that makes you happy. These are the words that everyone tells us.
Sometimes there are bumps in the road. When the bumps happen remember that the bump will not always be there. Also always get as close to your desired career as possible if you are not immediately able to get into your desired career as of yet. Any skill learned is never a resume waster. It all counts.
Whatever you do please communicate! It all counts for something.