Online Dating

You probably saw the title to this article and were immediately intrigued. And you should be. Taking any amount of time speaking to online daters through the dating websites and you will find one person only looking for sex, an immature youth not ready to join the institution of marriage as he/she suggests and serial daters.

And like me you probably joined a dating website because you are tired of staring at the end of an empty bowl and not having someone to share the day’s events with with immediate reaction to facial expressions of excitement or doom. I want to kiss my man. I want to jump up and down and cry in his arms. That initial reaction is his. Then I go to pray and thank the Lord or ask for some better event to occur.

In 2015 I was sitting in my apartment in California bored from looking at a bunch of romantic movies and earning so many accolades and still being alone. I added myself to the Tinder platform. As a twenty-five year old this is the website that my other twenty-three and twenty-five year old friends were using. I thought that I could get a date for at least a few months from this website. This action worked for  them. One of my friends had two dates from the app. That’s another story.

I was seriously mistaken. Two guys asked me for my phone number. Both guys only wanted to have sex with me. They did not want to get to know me. One guy began the conversation as if he wanted to get to know my character. Then the question came up of what we each expect in a long-term situation. What are our values? His values were clearly one-night stands. He thought that that was the only reason I was on Tinder. I guess my curvy one-piece bathing suit picture with braids fit for any beach hair situation was not helpful in portraying the image of helpfulness.

I met the next guy on the app Coffee Meets Bagel in late 2015. My college roommate was going on nightly dates with men she met on this app. I’m so glad she was thoughtful about where she met the men. The dates were in open settings like coffee shops. She met alot of people. She wanted me to try the app. And so I did.

I met a young man from the app. He seemed to have a nice profile; it was very comparable to my requirements. He had a graduate degree. He was a Christian and he was interested in the environment. After the first date on the boardwalk in Malibu it was clear that he only wanted someone who had similar life experiences so that he could feel like less of a whore-someone who did not just meet people off apps for sex only. I did not have sex with him. I’m worth more than using my status for sex.

Fastforward to 2017. After getting out of almost two year relationship with my ex I recently set up a profile on afroromance.com. This site specifically targets people who are interested in being in an interracial relationship and an interracial or intercultural relationship with a person of the Black race. I got the usual flirtation messages. Then my new friend Max from Russia emailed me! He’s nice! But we are only meant to be friends. Max told me that I would be a better fit for his friend back in Africa. And he was right! Even if I just have two new friends using the website was worth the risk. Max’s friend is a man of God! I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Thank God for sending new brothers in Christ! Max’s friend may be ‘the one’. My husband may be someone else. However, I think we will be friends for a long time.

Never give up dating. Don’t get discouraged. There’s a purpose to everything!!