Heels are a fashion statement that embraces a person’s confidence and appearance in a manner of elegance to the public eye. What the public eye doesn’t see is the bruises and scrapes left behind inside the heel. Heels are something I can connect with, not only from my own experience, but from the idea. Everybody praises me for my appearance and the way I decide to look, but no one ever takes the time to get to know me. No one knows that I get up at 4 am every day and only get 4 hours of sleep to get that praise from myself and others. My identity remains invisible to the naked eye. They don’t know about my personal life, why I’m self-dependent, or why I am determined to build a career beyond myself. But those hidden scars inside my heel are my motivation to keep striding.
Every step that is taken in wearing a pair of heels requires determination and willingness despite the discomfort that it comes with. Applying this to my academic ambitions has transformed my personal struggles into success. Being the first in my family to go to college is intimidating. That goal has led me to take dual enrollment college classes at Gillette College, where I earned a Vice Presidential Academic Affairs Award, and I am now working to obtain my associate's degree by high school graduation. This same goal has pushed me to join leadership roles such as Family, Career and Community Leaders of America, where I learn and prepare for a career in art, education, hospitality, entrepreneurship, and lots more. I mainly focus on my preparation for a fashion career by competing in the fashion design and entrepreneurship categories. I have also joined student council to help the school with organizing activities. However, the determination of the ‘heels’ didn’t just come from anywhere, but was shaped by my personal life.
The desire to walk in these metaphorical heels came from the complications that were forged when the ground beneath me collapsed. My father wasn’t able to stay in America, and when I was four years old, he moved back to his home country, Indonesia. We were able to visit him every summer, though it still meant my mom and I were alone for my whole life until my seventh-grade year. I still remember waking up to my mom crying and having that instinct that it was about my dad. That night, I learned my dad had passed, and my life changed. Not only did my life change, but so did my determination at that point. The realization of what had happened hit me the hardest in my sophomore year of high school. Before that dreadful year, I was in sports, such as Gymnastics, and leadership roles, like Future Business Leaders of America. But that year, I stumbled. I didn’t even consider friends at that point, and just like that, I had no one. My relationship with my mom suffered, making the isolation hurt more. Looking back as a senior, it would be easy to let regret consume me. However, much like learning to walk in heels, you wobble and fall, but with determination you get back on your feet. I have learned to find the strength to stand back up and to keep moving forward, and being alone has taught me a good lesson on independence. With that independence, I am ready to take my next major stride and turn a passion of mine into a future career.
After the constant stumbling around, I finally learned what motivates me to keep striding, even with bruises that were left on my heel. My founding love for fashion began after everything felt as though it was falling apart, and I found comfort in it. Through sewing and design, I didn’t find just a hobby, but I found purpose in my life. I realized that my ultimate goal was to become a fashion designer or fashion marketer and break the streak in my family of working at McDonald’s for the rest of my life. As an aspiring fashion marketer or designer, I plan to go to a college that will teach me how to perform efficiently in the fashion industry, as well as offer fashion internships for experience, and eventually I want to graduate from that college with a bachelor’s degree in what I need. After college, I hope to automatically have a job all set up for me to exceed. The bruises from the heel taught me that it’s not just about enduring through the pain and the difficult walk, but it’s about the path I choose to walk. To achieve what I hope for would mean my bruises and scrapes would finally heal, and the difficult walk would instead become pleasurable.
The scrapes and bruises from the past were never meant to set me back, but instead they prepared me for my future. When I first stepped in those heels, it was for the validation of the public eye, and it hid the abrasions inside. But I’ve come to realize that those abrasions were the stepping stones for my motivation. Being a first-generation college student studying fashion design or marketing is the next major stride I choose to take. The fashion industry is tough, but my experience of standing back up even when the ground collapses beneath me will help me along the way. As I launch my future in fashion, the public eye may not see what it took for me to get there, but they will know the truth. Every step I took in my journey was with my determination, and I have finally found the perfect heels to fit in.
